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Although the 30 woman (worn out/settled down/covered in parmesan and kid puke, if Bryony’s column is anything to by) may have given up her high maintenance ways, we 20-somethings are more demanding than ever.

I was recently described as being “not girlfriend material” and I blame the fact that I'm an Alpha woman. I'm also hard to impress, high-maintenance, volatile, easy to bore, and - shockingly, I know - single.

She lives life in the fast lane, which makes being with her fun.

She maximizes her downtime as much as her crunch time.

But there can only be one person in the driver’s seat.” All hope is not lost, however: a new book raising eyebrows in the US offers a controversial solution.Unfortunately, they would prefer that we dance around their behaviors and remain delicate instead to feel maximum masculinity. An alpha female knows exactly what she wants and doesn’t hesitate to go for it.We’ll ask you out first, kiss you first and unbutton our blouses first when the mood is right.Being an alpha female is, for the most part, pretty awesome. We’re wildly independent, ferociously driven and we favor passion over tender romanticizing.We’re also incredibly stubborn, hard-headed, opinionated, and can be intimidating or misjudged by men.In my experience, men want their girlfriend to validate them, to adore them, to need them.Frankly, I’m too busy adoring and validating myself for any of that. And does it make me a "bad investment", relationship-wise? My standards are high, I'm unforgiving and often dismiss men without giving them enough of a chance, shooting myself in the foot.For this reason, finding a man who can handle and understand the traits we carry is much harder.These are the real struggles of being an alpha female in the dating world. We’re wildly sarcastic about nearly everything and anything we can make light of.With her reputation for ambition, determination and success, she can be seen by men as intriguing but intimidating; attractive yet aloof.Some of the world’s most inspiring Alphas (Oprah Winfrey, Condoleezza Rice) have yet to settle down; while many of their predecessors (Coco Chanel, Jane Austen) never did.However, to acquire the status of Alpha, a female would have to kill a lot more other wolves than a male would. Sonya Rhodes new book, The Alpha Woman Meets Her Match, says that shouldn’t be the case.Furthermore, to avoid an Alpha-male rising, the Alpha female must have the ability to bully, dominate and even kill the Beta males who insist on attempting to mate with her or otherwise demonstrate their own Alpha status. Rhodes aims to strip the Alpha of its gender clichés; she argues that Alpha women shouldn’t limit themselves to one socioeconomic group or a partner who shares their lifestyle. Common wisdom usually suggests that the alpha man is nature’s winner whilst the Alpha woman is a cold bitch (and the Beta bloke works in IT and still lives with his mum).We’re not afraid to make sexual innuendos or express opinions that aren’t typically “ladylike”, because screw that.This comes across as bitchy to the men whose balls aren’t big enough to date us, or sleazy to men who think we’re signalling for sex. We don’t hesitate to say exactly how we feel about something even if it means we tell a guy straight up that we don’t like the sh*tty thing they said or did, or how we feel about a certain controversial issue.




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