Taking a deep breath, Stan Cattermole sidles into a crowded London wine bar.

Blinking nervously, he looks around to find himself in what should be every red-blooded man's idea of heaven.

I thought that women felt attracted to men for the same reasons that we feel attracted to women. I didn’t realize that it was possible to make beautiful women feel attracted to me for reasons OTHER than looks, so if they rejected me, I simply assumed, That’s all I knew because I was another brainwashed modern man who believed the junk I saw in TV and magazine advertisements.

Even though I saw below-average looking guys with beautiful women, I didn’t see that as real.

Some of the many ways that you can attract women are with your confidence, charisma, charm, humor and masculine vibe. Before I discovered what I now teach here at The Modern Man, I was going through life assuming that beautiful women couldn’t like me because I wasn’t good looking enough. When I interacted with beautiful women, NOTHING that I was saying and doing was making them feel any attraction because all I was doing was talking to them in a nice, friendly way and expecting to be LIKED for it.

And it's struck a chord with the millions of other men who believe they are also too ugly to find love.But, every now and then, a couple pulls the switch off this genetic equilibrium.And how we get pairings like Lyle Lovett/Julia Roberts, J. Now, I'm certainly not going to put myself into the same camp with the Julia Roberts and Padmas of the world...Akin to a beauty contest scorecard, a person's attractiveness is ranked from one to 10.And generally, it's presumed that the beautiful Amazons among us (the eights, nines, and 10s) should only date each other -- while the "uglies" of the bunch (the twos, threes, and fours) must stick to their own Quasimodo kind.They're trained from a young age to be (often) unjustifiably self-assured, to eschew personality and affability for cocksure confidence, and to generally treat people like the feudal system is alive and kickin'. And because of this I think women tend to retain some memory of what it means to be liked (or disliked) for who one is, not how one looks. The bottom line: Ask any woman who she'd rather have as her boyfriend -- the lovably awkward Albert Brennaman (aka Kevin James -- told you he was the crux of the arugment) from ? Anecdotal evidence aside, I know for a fact that I don't find "hot" men attractive.* Let me clarify - I find them pleasing to the eye, and every so often quite tempting, but I don't find myself actually attracted to them. [Disclaimer: This post should in no way indicate that my boyfriend is ugly and/or unattractive.And here I have to admit that I am undoubtedly judging their books by their covers, but I have yet to find the exception to the rule. But I find that women are much more inclined to date with their emotions - to pick a man that is funny, comforting, kind, and generous - and they'll often pick one or all of those traits over his looks. , though I would probably argue that Kevin James is kind of a stud, and really, that's exactly the point I plan on making-- and we see it in our friends.There are plenty of studies on this strangely anti-Darwinian phenomenon - studies which I think don't answer the question as well as I, with my oh-so-steadfast opinions, can, do, and will. Let's talk about what exactly is wrong with these conventionally attractive men, and let's talk about what is right about these, well, conventionally -attractive men.To explain: These high-school hotties are used to having the sort of unadulterated, fawning adoration that the symmetrically blessed always get in high-school, but the problem is that it doesn't do them any good. I also have a little (and relatively untested) theory. In fact, it's fair to say that it categorically does them harm. I believe that women tend to come into themselves -- appearance-wise -- much later in school than men. After all, we all know that men - superficial creatures that they are - judge a woman on her looks.But there's a commonly-held belief that women are infinitely less shallow.