Most of these were first dates, though one marketing executive, fresh from a divorce from a stay-at-home mom to whom he is paying copious alimony, told me he appreciated the months we spent together: “It was important to be with someone who’s in command of her own life and doesn’t just need me to be a financial engine.” In other words, because I was financially independent, he felt secure that I cared for him for who he is – not what he earns.

Money is a tricky subject, and money and dating is prickly territory.

Is it better just to avoid the whole issue and wait until the relationship gets serious to discuss it?

There were some reader comments on those posts saying that the experiences I described were atypical, but in New York and other cities, they appear to be more and more common: For the first time, women in their 20s who work full time in several American cities — New York, Chicago, Boston and Minneapolis — are earning higher wages than men in the same age range, according to a recent analysis of 2005 census data by Andrew Beveridge, a sociology professor at Queens College in New York.

For instance, the median income of women age 21 to 30 in New York who are employed full time was 17 percent higher than that of comparable men.

The online dating industry is a .1 billion business, with niche dating sites claiming more and more of that market share.

Thanks to a crop of niche dating websites, you can find your ideal mate based on very specific criteria.