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) So here I am in love with a guy who hasn't even removed his wifes clothes or shoes from the closets. My advise is to stay away from anyone that just lost someone. I have not heard one happy story, Has anyone married and lived a happy life with a recent widower? We are just the buffers to help them get through it. The question is really whether you can handle your jealousy regarding his feelings for his deceased wife since you feel you are competing with her for his affections.I understand people grieve at their own pace and I have never put pressure on him, however. People grieve in different ways, and this man is apparently not yet ready to remove his wife's clothing and shoes from the closet, either because that would be too emotionally painful for him to do, or because it might give him comforting memories to see these things, or both.Let’s look at that list again, and you may see some challenges.A man who has been married to one woman for over forty years can be challenging.I love him dearly and would love to spend the rest of my life with him, but not sure if I can take not being the true love in his life. His response to something like that might tell you whether he really is emotionally ready to make another lasting commitment.Similarly, he should not hide you from his in-laws, or from anyone else in his life, if he is really serious about having a future with you, and you should address that with him.He’s probably worried that they’ll think he’s moving on too fast or, perhaps, won’t be open to the idea of seeing him with someone else.

Note: Both of the questions were posed by women dating widowers.Their mom passed 15 months ago and I am dating the father 7 months.I’m willing to wait…I’m afraid that they will never be ready….I may be wasting my time. Perhaps you are recently divorced and now you find yourself exploring available men online. Have you heard that widowers are great dates, who know what they want and are ready to get it?Many widowers have been married to only one spouse.They might be used to a wife who did all the domestic things for them, such as the laundry, grocery shopping, cooking, or even fixing a running toilet.So you see a widower online, and you are thinking, “What a great catch this man is! ” Not having done your homework and investigated the challenges, you are encouraged. I have a lot of experience when it comes to dating a widowed Man. Most of us have loved someone before we met the person we married.I have been in a relationship with a widowed man for over a year. I don't know if it's selfish, but I think you are being unrealistic if you expect this man to forget his wife or to remove all traces of her from his home just yet.These worries and concerns are natural, but they’re no excuse.If a widower really has serious feelings for you, he won’t let the thoughts or opinions of others stop him from letting the world know about you.Some may not have ever dated another woman, because they married the first woman they ever met.A lot of older widowers have grown children; in fact, many may even be grandfathers. Widowers often need a woman’s touch around the house.We met 6 months after his wife died of pancreatic cancer. To be honest when he told me he had just lost his wife I wanted nothing to do with him, but he was persistant. My dad's family embraced my mother and welcomed her into the family, as did my brother's mother's family. My mom and dad stayed married until in death they did part, 45 years later. He loved her, and she was a part of his life, and she will always remain a part of him.I eventually thought to myself that if I can help him through this rough time it makes me the better person not even thinking that I may fall in love with him.(DUH!!!! That doesn't mean that he can't also love you.




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